Definition: The complete and utter inability to stop the English language pouring forth out of a facial orifice, annoying and complicating the lives of others around you, regardless for their own ear-drums or self-preservation.
This is my definition of it anyway. I have decide this should be an official type definition based on my own experience at work. For those who have never heard me moan, there is a lady at work who has an extremely bad case of Word Vomit, she cannot stop. It destroys me inside. She looks like this:
But imagine her with frizzy, ginger hair, a slight limp in the left leg, and no front teeth, kind of like this:
Now, as I have only been a disciple/worker/lowly administrator person for this particular establishment for roughly five weeks, it is not really my place to say how things should be run. She is also a lowly pleb, like myself, and takes it upon herself to do this exact thing.
It is constant, there is never a simple answer, and every question MUST lead to a story about how things are going so badly, and everything must be changed IMMEDIATELY or we shall all perish at the hands of RIVER ISLAND BOSS-MANAGERS.
No. We won’t.
Example:
Me: I’ve finished the tagging, where do you want me to put these clothes?
Her: Well to be honest I have no idea…
Me: Oh, OK then, I’ll just pop them here and get on with some sorting.
Her: Well last week I got told that I had to put them on a rail, and then take the rail to the lift, but then I got shouted at by the manager because she didn’t know what I was doing, so then I just thought, well if you are going to ignore what I’m saying and talk over me then I will just do it anyway. I really wanted to have the kitchen done last week, we had the tiles and everything sorted, but I was late getting out of here and missed my bus because we couldn’t find a scanner, and if we don’t find them the people “up-above” (said with much gesturing and hushed tones) will get us.
Me: *drools slightly and shuffles uncomfortably, as-if awaking from a boredom-induced coma* huh?
I can’t stand Word Vomit, especially when you have no idea what is happening, and retreat into the happy place in the corner of your mind, where no harm can come to your subconscious being. Oh well, tomorrows another day.
Farewell,
x
